Oh yeah...VICTORY!

Well. It's over. Done. Finito!

I got my life back as of 10:03 this morning. It took me just over 2 hours to take my test. I did not go the full 30 minutes for each exercise. I know me. I would overanalyze, think too much and mess up. So I went with my gut on each one, double checked my responses to make sure I had all of my criteria met and on to the next.

I thought I was going to pass out between exercise 2 and 3. I did not sleep well at all last night. I think I got about 4 hours of sleep and it was broken. I just couldn't relax. So I got up with a sore throat, a headache and hardly any sleep. Not exactly ideal conditions to take the biggest test of your life! But I powered on and I think I did okay. At the worst maybe a 2 on any of them but really I think I did alright. I'm so glad we practiced exercise 3 (Emergent Literacy) and exercise 5 (Visual Text) so much because I think I kicked some behind on those two. Here's hoping I'm right!! The AC chats were the very best thing I ever participated in, seriously. I would have been LOST without those.

You have to shut off EVERYTHING when you get there and are only allowed to have your ID and your locker key in the room. When I left, feeling tremendous relief and disbelief that it was finally over, I had two voicemails from school. One saying they needed me to come in because no one took the job. Um, not happening. The 2nd one said "oh we figured out what all of those letters mean and realize you can't come in, nevermind". I wouldn't have anyway! Not my issue that a sub cancelled last minute. And it's  not like you can just go "oh nevermind National Board, I'll put you off another day or week". Um, no.

SO glad to be done with this. I want my life back. It's been amazing, frustrating, invigorating, thought provoking and tiring all at once. I know that once school resumes for fall I will be much better off having done this -- because everything I learned will come with me. Everything I'm too tired to process right now will come back to me and I will be a better teacher because of it. But for now....it is rest. Rest and wait. Wait a loooooong time for score results. Honestly after today I'm sure I won't think about it much before October. I'm so ready to just have it behind me.

The End

Well, here we are.

In less than 12 hours now,  I will be at the Assessment Center, on the final leg of my National Board journey. From therein, it will be a waiting game. A big sigh of relief when it's over and putting it out of my mind so I can go back to a normal life: reading, writing, working on my books, getting my publishing house going, spending time with my hubby and kids, watching TV (which I rarely ever do) and not thinking about NB.

Come the fall when things are busy, it will continue to be pushed to the back of my mind. My frame of reference will be filled with starting the new school year, working out the kinks of the new system we're using for Reading Street and focusing on myself.

Then The Email will come. The email that announces that scores will be released soon. And anxiety will set in. Will my hard work have paid off? Will I become a National Board Certified Teacher or an Advanced Candidate?

I can prep no more. I either know it...or I don't. I'm not worried about whether or not I know it. I'm worried about remembering it when I'm sitting in that room, nervous that I will come off like a complete bonehead in my exercises. That some assessor somewhere will laugh at my entries and wonder who the heck I thought I was even attempting this.

Although when I did my very last practice chat on Thursday, the gal I've bonded with who has been with me every week for these chats said she thought I was one of the smartest people on the forum and would be crossing her fingers for me. That's super nice and super awesome. This is someone I don't even really know who thinks I am smart and will make it. I sure hope I do. I want this to pay off -- not in two or three tries, but in one. I want the pain, suffering and literal anguish I have been through this year -- not at the hands of NB but trying to push through the process and deal with it -- to pay off and be able to proclaim that I did, indeed, make it in one try. That I am worthy of the initials NBCT behind my name. 

Getting closer...

In one week, I will be freaking out. FREAKING.OUT.

Why? Because on Monday, May 14, I will be taking THE TEST. Not any ole test. The biggest test of my life. Really for five of the exercises, I feel confident. I have done well in our practice sessions. Whenever I have practiced on my own, I have always had extra time. That makes me feel better because everyone says those 30 minutes FLY in the Assessment Center. In all of my practices I have had at least 10 minutes when I've finished my responses to go back, make sure I haven't missed anything and make anything more clear if needed. I'm SO glad I've had the foresight to do those practices, and engage in all of the extra chats, because it sure has helped.

I am worried about Exercise 3 -- the Emergent Literacy one. I fear that I will choke when I'm in the AC. I have never taught K-1 (and never plan to). My certificate will span ages 3-12 bu I plan to stay in the late 6 year old and up ages (I had a few kiddos who were still 6 when school started this year). I will practice, practice, practice that one over the next week. 

Then it's test time...and freedom. No more weekends devoted to NB. No more scheduling my life around the AC chats we've been doing. No more worrying about how I will get everything done. Freedom to enjoy my last weeks of the school year and not have this hanging over me.

It's soooo close I can nearly taste it.