The End

Well, here we are.

In less than 12 hours now,  I will be at the Assessment Center, on the final leg of my National Board journey. From therein, it will be a waiting game. A big sigh of relief when it's over and putting it out of my mind so I can go back to a normal life: reading, writing, working on my books, getting my publishing house going, spending time with my hubby and kids, watching TV (which I rarely ever do) and not thinking about NB.

Come the fall when things are busy, it will continue to be pushed to the back of my mind. My frame of reference will be filled with starting the new school year, working out the kinks of the new system we're using for Reading Street and focusing on myself.

Then The Email will come. The email that announces that scores will be released soon. And anxiety will set in. Will my hard work have paid off? Will I become a National Board Certified Teacher or an Advanced Candidate?

I can prep no more. I either know it...or I don't. I'm not worried about whether or not I know it. I'm worried about remembering it when I'm sitting in that room, nervous that I will come off like a complete bonehead in my exercises. That some assessor somewhere will laugh at my entries and wonder who the heck I thought I was even attempting this.

Although when I did my very last practice chat on Thursday, the gal I've bonded with who has been with me every week for these chats said she thought I was one of the smartest people on the forum and would be crossing her fingers for me. That's super nice and super awesome. This is someone I don't even really know who thinks I am smart and will make it. I sure hope I do. I want this to pay off -- not in two or three tries, but in one. I want the pain, suffering and literal anguish I have been through this year -- not at the hands of NB but trying to push through the process and deal with it -- to pay off and be able to proclaim that I did, indeed, make it in one try. That I am worthy of the initials NBCT behind my name.