I understand why people who don't certify in their first year of pursuing National Board often just don't tell people. I swear, if one more person tells me it is "ridiculous" or "unfair" that I didn't "pass" (make that certify folks!), I will scream.
I said this over the weekend too but anyone who hasn't gone through the process just doesn't understand. It isn't a pass/fail situation. It also doesn't mean that I am a good or not good teacher. It means one thing. I did not provide enough evidence. Period. That is it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Truthfully, it doesn't really bother me. Sure, it's disappointing because you KILL yourself on it. You do. By the time you mail that box you think if you ever see it again, you are going to stab yourself in the eye! *wink* However, once mid-summer hit, I missed the process. The reflection. The growth. The need to keep pushing and pushing myself to go, go, go. Do this thing just a little better, put this much more into that assignment.
National Board changed the way I teach. No matter what, I am 100% a better teacher than I ever have been. I could go on about how my students and their parents all think so and tell me so...but it isn't about that either. I just do what I love. I try my best every day and strive to be better every day too. It's what I want my students to do, it's what I should practice as well.
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