The Process affects the Product

I don't think The Husband understands how much TIME one takes to do something as huge as National Board. He makes comments about how I'm always on the computer, blah blah. This morning I informed him that my entire life from now until March 30 when I mail my box is going to be National Board. I warned him when I started this process.

I am working hard on E3 this weekend. Well, today. I gave myself permission to take tomorrow completely off. No school work. No computer. No cell phone (ie where the internet is). No nothing school or National Board related. So today it is. I have an ecgen.org chat in about 2 hours. I am digging the chats because they are UBER helpful. It's always good to hear other people's thoughts and ideas for their entries. I was in chat last night with one other gal who is an ecgen candidate. We were just chatting about everything and nothing and talked a bit about E4. I'm so happy that I was able to help her brainstorm and nail down her ideas for that entry. It just makes you feel good.

I am hopeful to finish my draft of E3 today. Then I will be set with my deadlines still. And I will be thrilled. I haven't touched E2 since I printed it. I plan to finish drafts for all of my entries then ship them off to readers, meanwhile making my own notes, changes and modifications. Once I have feedback from readers, I will take that and my own notes and changes and work on my finals. I REALLY want all of March to work on that aspect of it -- the revision and polishing. If I can get a draft of E3 done today I may ship those two entries off to my readers so I can get them back quicker while I am working on E1 (E4 is pretty much done -- waiting on my latest data to finish it, which the data should be ready by Monday, I hope). 

This process IS overwhelming and frustrating and challenging....but I am finding that I as time goes on and I read more and learn more, I am less overwhelmed and frustrated. I am empowered. I feel like I've made growth in my teaching and my passion for teaching literacy has been recharged for the better. The end product will just be the icing on my cake.

Entry 3 Beginnings

It feels like it should at least be Thursday...and I've only been at work one day this week so far! What a crazy day! Tuesdays are one of my favorite work days because I have a prep right at the end of the day and it is lovely. I am all prepared for tomorrow except for pencil sharpening which won't take long when I get there. I have some marking to do but that shouldn't take too long either as long as I actually DO it instead of procrastinating and/or distracting myself with other tasks.

I'm really proud of myself because I ended up chit chatting with a colleague after school for almost 45 minutes and time got away from me. The Husband and I went paint shopping for The Youngest's room after dinner and I still managed to get myself upstairs and work a bit on Entry 3. 

I believe I have mentioned this before but the best piece of advice I have gotten is to type out all of the prompts in red and then fill in the answers in black as you go so you can ensure you have actually answered all of the prompts. It really does sound crazy but it works well.

I have my instructional context section of Entry 3 finished. This is the entry where you take a content area and demonstrate how you incorporate listening, viewing and speaking into it. I chose to do a social studies lesson for this entry. Our entire 2nd grade curriculum is about communities and it's fun to teach. There are two parts to the video -- one in which you are actively teaching the listening/viewing and one in which the children respond by speaking.

After I wrote my instructional context section, I decided to stop and review (and review, and review!) my video. I like to take notes. It's weird to watch yourself on video and not judge yourself. But I've found after watching the video again and again that you don't notice your hair, clothes or think "wow I need to lose 10 lbs" or whatever. You really begin to pay attention to your craft. What your instructional decisions were and why you did them. I also have noticed after each viewing an example of when I clearly changed focus midstream based on a student answer. This is not bad of course. It's the point -- you reflect and you think about what you did and why but also what you would change if you had the chance.

I take copious amounts of notes and this one even moreso than my notes for Entry 2. 

  

Entry 2 notes 

  Entry 3 notes 

        (only halfway & lots more writing!)

At any rate, even though I am only halfway through with my note-taking but I feel so proud of myself for coming home after a crazy day and a busy night and still working on this. 

I have been participating in the chats at ecgen.org and in the forums and I finally do not feel all alone. I feel like I am finding my way and this is possible. I am MUCH farther along than some of the other people in the forum. I'm super glad I decided to do my videos early. It is one huge load off to know that I only have to focus on the writing.

Support

I have previously mentioned I have no cohort or support groups in person. Everything is online because there are no cohorts in my area and I am the only candidate in my district as far as I know. 

At the end of December, I joined ecgen.org and it has been the best thing I've ever done. Yes it is mostly geared toward the early childhood generalist but I find the more I interact there and the more involved I get with it, the more helpful it is. (Imagine that!)

We had a chat on Entry 3 today and I got some great advice plus met two candidates who have agreed to be "check in" buddies with me. That will be great so we can keep each other on track and keep going with this. Super important especially as time winds down.

I planned my personal days for this year and will be taking them all on Fridays. Two are in March. My kids and hubby will be at school and I will have a day to just WORK. Smartest thing I've ever done. A huge weight has been lifted off of me because I don't feel alone anymore. I can do this. And I will.

Could it be?!

If I had a nickel for every time I said I was going to finish Entry 2....I'd be a millionaire by now! Seriously.

It did not get done this weekend. Nope. It's frustrating because this kind of writing is just NOT the kind of writing I am used to doing. And it makes me want to rip out my hair.

Alas, right now I am PRINTING my draft of Entry 2! It's like a miracle!! 

It's just a draft but it's PRINTING! That feels so huge after how long I feel like I've been struggling with this one. I need to finish my reflection but otherwise the draft is good to go for sending off to readers!!

My poor husband and teenager...they get to be the first poor souls to read through this and try to make sense of it! ha!

Entry 2 -- The Death of me!

I am determined. DE-TER-MINED to finish my Entry 2 first draft TODAY. 

No exceptions. 

Even if I have to be up until midnight to do it!

I have discovered that I am a really, super good procrastinator. Even moreso than I ever thought. This is bad. Very, very bad. I let myself get distracted and then I lament that nothing is done. It's a vicious cycle.

Alas, I WILL conquer this entry TODAY. And if I can really kick myself in the behind, I will also conquer Entry 4 (I just have a few finishing touches).

Then I can send them off to readers and focus on the last two. 

I need chocolate, diet coke and some peace and quiet so I can work!

Entry 2 -- Roughing it

I made myself a personal deadline to have Entry 2 finished by January 8.

It is January 12 and I am working on it. I'm guessing this means I am not going to have entry 3 done by the end of this month either. I am finding it difficult to really get myself going during the week. It's difficult because while this is important to me, I do not want to feel like I am completely neglecting my family obligations either.

The best thing, to me, about National Board, is that it is all about the clear expectations. While some of the portfolio directions feel at times like they may as well be written in Greek, for the most part, they are very, very clear on what they want you to do. I find that is one of the only things keeping me sane right now. I know that when push comes to shove, everything I am required to do is spelled out for me, I just have to do it.

For the EMC Literacy certificate, Entries 1-3 require instructional context information. Since the assessor is not in your classroom with you, you have to "paint a picture". For the literacy certificate at least, all of the instructional contexts will be a bit different because of the scope of the entry. Entry 1 focuses on writing, entry 2 on constructing meaning through reading and entry 3 of the integration of speaking, listening and viewing. In my classroom, for sure, my instructional context changes for each of those things. Yes, the number of children in my class is the same, but how I frame my classroom is not.


I read somewhere (either at  ecgen.org  or in WHAT WORKS!: Successful Strategies in Pursuing National Board Certification) that one of the smartest things to do is write your prompts out in red in your word document and then go through and write your answers (in black). This way you can be sure you answered all of the questions and when you present your entry to a reader -- if you choose to have one -- they will know what they should be looking for. It makes it simple for them to see if you answered the question/prompt or not because it's right there.

Example the red prompt in the text (blurred obviously so as not to violate NB rules).

It sounds kind of funny but it really does help. I have found it especially helpful when I am feeling stuck. The prompts keep pushing you. Sometimes it feels as though you already answered the question but you haven't -- they are all carefully framed to be just a bit different and that gets tricky sometimes as well.

I have been working pretty steadily on Entry 2 today and have found myself making it farther and farther with the prompts to keep pushing me (and not having to ruffle through my instructions to find the next question is really nice!). 

I rewatched my video and made some notes. I made my own form based on one I found in here:

I have probably watched this video 8-9 times now and every time you get a little more out of it. Here's my form:

The columns are blank because I'm just not that far yet!

This entry would be driving me insane if I hadn't read What Works. Seriously the ideas, positive message and encouragement are very helpful. Especially to someone like myself who has no mentor or cohort to bounce ideas off of. 

I will keep chipping away at this entry. I am bound and determined to put this one to bed by Monday night (the 16th). Crossing my fingers I make it, only a week after my original goal!

Videotaping

When I was prepping over the summer to begin National Board, one thing I read several times was to videotape early. This is mostly so you aren't scrambling to get a usable video a couple of weeks before deadline or end up sending off a less than stellar video segment because you didn't have enough time to tape another one and then effectively analyze it.

I found this advice to be invaluable. I set a goal for myself to have both of my videos finished for my entries by the winter break. There were several reasons: first of all, I think the videotaping, for me at least, is the most stressful part. You want to look good but you also want your instruction to look -- and be! -- authentic; second of all, the earlier you videotape, the more time you have if, during your reflection process, you decide that you are not happy with one of the segments and you want to try another lesson instead. 

I had planned to begin videotaping as soon as I felt like our routines were well established. With this group, I really could have done my videos at the end of September and they would have been fine, I'm sure. I am used to working with big kiddos who, when you explain reasons for things to them, for the most part, they get it. They realize the importance and do the best they can. I found that with this group of 2nd graders, the same was true. Not to say there wasn't some messing around and that I got perfect videos the first time through. They are children after all.

However, after the first couple of times when a few children messed around and we had a class meeting about it, they realized how important it was to me so I could be a better teacher for them. I had my videos done before Halloween and things were great. Sadly, The Husband was trying to transfer the videos to a DVD and did not back them up first so they were all lost in mid-November.

Fortunately for him, he's cute so I forgave him (plus I got a nice dinner and my nails done out of it!). I took the camera back to school, explained what happened and we did it again. We were all set by the end of November. I had videos that maybe weren't perfect but were definitely usable for what I need. I got over having "perfection" real quick. Yes, I want to look like the most amazing teacher ever, but I also want my lessons to look like they are real teaching. Like this same lesson would have happened even if a camera wasn't in the room. I also made triple sure that before I ever let my hubby touch that camera that I had THREE copies of my video segments--I have them on the PC and two separate flash drives just in case! 

Finding a good program to use to make the DVDs is equally important. I stumbled upon Wondershare and I really like it. It allowed me to put my segments together and it was really easy to do. It is a program that I think was well worth the money.

Moral of the story: videotape early, videotape often and BACK UP THE VIDEOS before you let anyone else anywhere near them to save yourself a headache!

National Board Test Center & Scheduling

I just scheduled my Assessment Center appointment. Oh boy.

My Authorization to Test has been mailed and you can also download a copy online. I used that to schedule my appointment. I am fortunate that my district allows me up to 2 paid days to go to the Assessment Center without taking that time from my leave bank. I only need one day since the test is continuous.

I scheduled it for May 30. It is the 2nd to last week of school. It will allow me to rest from the end of March after I have sent off my portfolio to the end of April/early May and then I can begin studying for the Assessment Center. I have found a ton of great resources at ecgen.org to prep for the Assessment Center so I feel really good about my decision to take a little time off, rest and relax and then hit the ground running to study and practice for the assessments.

I'm lucky in that the center I am taking my test at is only 4 miles from my school building. So it will be just like going to work that day, except I'll be taking a big ole test. 

We used to only get 3 personal days per year and last year they added a 4th one which was kind of awesome. I am going to be very strategic in planning my personal days this year. I am going to use them to work on National Board. My kids will be at school and thus I can work in relative quiet. Our puppy is used to be home all day now so I can keep him in the kitchen like he's used to and work upstairs in relative quiet and peace (something that is hard to do when the kids are here)! 

I think I am going to schedule 2 personal days for February and at least one for March. I will take a 2nd one in March if I am really feeling crunched for time. Starting next Saturday I am actually going to leave the house for 4-6 hours to work on my entries. If I get out of the house and go somewhere quiet, I know I am going to get a lot more done, a lot faster than if I try to work on them entirely at home with the family around.

I am going to designate Tuesday and Wednesday nights my "National Board" nights. For at least an hour after dinner those nights, through February, I am going to make myself work on my entries. An hour isn't a lot but it's better than not working on it during the week at all. At least two hours during the week and 4-6 on the weekend will give me a solid 6-8 hours of working on them every week through March 2. That's at least 48 hours, not including the personal days I plan to take in which I'll work for at least 4 hours on it as well. That's a lot of time and I need to use it well. No messing around, procrastinating or just not getting it done.

I also need to get The Husband on board and make him understand that this is not a process I can complete in a day. It is going to take time and he is going to have to step up, at least for a little while, so I can work.

And the countdown begins

My personal deadlines for National Board are staring me in the face. They are looming big because one was for tomorrow. I'm not going to make it unless a miracle happens and the entry writes itself.

I am going to have to take advantage of my less busy after school schedule this week and get caught up for work so I can really bust out National Board stuff at home. The Husband has had Saturdays off and been working Sundays lately but that means he is less than helpful around here on Saturdays. I end up doing 99% of the house stuff and taking care of the kids and he watches TV. Not a fair trade when you have one of the most important things you've ever taken on to do.

So starting next Saturday, for the duration of his weekend work schedule, I am going to leave the house. I am going to pack up my iPad and my National Board stuff and head on down to my alma mater (they have free parking on the weekends) and work. It will be quiet and there will be very few distractions.

I am going to have to make a new schedule for myself -- one that includes time during the week to work on it plus my one weekend day. One of my resolutions was to take a day OFF each week but that isn't going to happen this weekend simply because of some stress yesterday and needing to catch myself up. It's okay though.

I am going to be scheduling some personal days over the next two months and will use that time to stay home alone and WORK.

Starting with the end: Entry 4

When I first began actually working on National Board, I started with Entry 4, mostly because it seemed like the easiest place to start. Entry 4 is the only entry that is the same for all candidates, regardless of the certificate that you pursue. When you first begin looking at this entry, it's very easy to think you know exactly what you are doing. However, once you begin to write the entries and then pause or go back and reread, you begin to doubt yourself a bit. You wonder if your accomplishments are good enough or "worthy" of inclusion in your entry.

One thing I have learned through the process so far and through all of the reading I have is that it has absolutely nothing to do with you! This is not the "brag" entry. It isn't where you show everyone how freaking fabulous you are and show off your fabulocity.

Nope. It's all about the kids. Just like the rest of the portfolio. Even though it's glaringly obvious if you really read the entry directions...a lot of people struggle on this one because we want to be proud of what we have done. I am no expert by any stretch of the imagination as I am only a first-time candidate. However, I know that when I first started my Entry 4 writing, I had a lot of stuff that focused more on me than the kids. So revision will happen in a big way. I have already made some changes as I've gone along, but it's amazing how much your thinking changes the more you read, the more you reflect and the more you really dig into this process.

The three categories of accomplishments are: Partnering with Families and Community, Teacher as Learner and Teacher as Leader. Over the summer, I was positive I knew exactly what accomplishments I was going to use (because they can be from the last 5 years except for the Partner with Families which needs to be from the current school year). As I have written, reflected, revised and gathered my evidence, however, I have realized that I have more to say about some things and less about others. My priorities have changed. My thinking has changed.

I think this is all part of the process. You really learn to reflect, to internalize what you are doing and WHY you are doing it and ultimately think about WHY and HOW it has made a difference for kids. It's all about the student impact.

I have put aside my Entry 4 for the moment as I am the type of person who needs to let things ruminate a bit...but I know that this was still a good place to me to begin. As I go through the last 3 months of this part of the NB process, I have a clearer and more focused vision in terms of how I want myself represented on paper and how I want the student impact to shine through in my writing.

As I push forward with Entry 2, I have all of the new knowledge I have gained and learned as I've worked on Entry 4. To me, it is much easier to mess up Entry 4 and make huge changes than learn those lessons halfway or three quarters of the way through the "meatier" entries of 1, 2 and 3.

The Beginning: How I Started

When I began this journey, I decided to work on my entries kind of haphazardly. To me, the most important thing about this process is finding the spot to begin that works the best for YOU.

I downloaded all of the directions, entry notes and everything else I felt was pertinent to this process over the summer. I actually spent time at my cabin reading through some of it (even though right now it kind of feels like I've only just started the whole process!). I found this was SUPER helpful when it came time for me to really think about a schedule for tackling this process. I actually printed out a calendar for myself and just made some tentative notes with deadlines and goals. It isn't to say that this stuff hasn't all changed -- because most of it has -- but the act of planning it out has made it much easier to follow through on it and stay somewhat on track.

I took advice I had read somewhere (more than likely at Angela Watson's NB page at The Cornerstone for Teachers) to do the videos early in the process. I am SO glad that I did that because now I have the rest of my time to focus on my writing. I have spent just as much time READING about National Board as I have WORKING on National Board. For me, this is essential. Working on undergrad and master's degrees back to back really showed me the kind of learner that I am. I NEED to know as much as possible about something in order to really process what I need to do to meet the expectations.

So I have read blogs, internet forums, yahoo groups, etc about the process. Some honestly aren't all that helpful. They basically repeat what National Board has on their website. If I find it truly helpful or life changing, I bookmark it. I have a folder saved right to my taskbar called "National Board" and all of my NB links are in there, easily found in one place. It is super helpful.

Additionally, I got myself organized. Since I downloaded the directions for multiple certificates as I was trying to decide which one to work on, I read through them online to save paper. Once I decided on the EMC-Literacy certificate, I printed all of the portfolio directions, the evaluation guides, the scoring information and anything else pertinent to helping me through the process. I put it all into a big binder with tabs so I can quickly and easily find what I need if I'm looking for information.






Then I got myself an expandable file that had 12 slots in it. I use 3 for each entry. One for the directions, one for any artifacts or resources (ie student work samples) and one for a working copy or other readings that I might need to use for that entry. It has been super helpful because I can carry around this smaller expandable file and my iPad and not have to carry the big binder (my iPad can slip into the front of the expandable and both can slip right into my briefcase or tote.





Most recently I have read this book:





It is written by a fabulous lady who is also a big time poster at ecgen.org. It is packed with info and honestly it is one of the reasons why I kind of feel like I've just started. This is not bad. I actually appreciate it. Bobbie makes you think, gives you concrete advice and FORCES YOU to examine what you thought you knew. It is not bad. I just wish that I had had my hot little hands on that book earlier in my journey. But it is okay. I am not behind and I have no need to panic (and yes I have to tell myself this constantly because it is SO easy
to get yourself freaked out with the amount of work to be done.

While focusing on videotaping for most of the fall, I also started putting together information for Entry 4. I think I have a good start. However, after reading through some forums at ecgen.org and Bobbie's book, I decided to put that one to the side for a week or so. I need to let my info "marinade" in the back of my mind a bit and then look at the work with fresh eyes. Then I will revise it, ship it off to a reader and go from there.

Currently I am immersing myself in Entry 2 which for the EMC Literacy is Constructing Meaning through Reading. I burned my DVD today. I have my instructional context mostly ready and am working on the planning portion of the writing. I am going to watch and rewatch my video and make some notes so that I can be better focused when I go back to the writing. I will post more about how I am working through that process.

On My Way!

For the sake of my sanity, I decided to keep a separate place to put my posts about National Board. Mostly because I know that this is going to massively consume me for the next 6 months (Jan-March for my portfolio and March-June for the assessment center) and will consume me again come November when scores are nearly ready to be posted and I am biting my nails in anticipation of passing on my first try. Separating my reflections on this process will help me (hopefully) keep a better balance between National Board and the rest of my life.

I have been spending an inordinate amount of time over this break working on my National Board stuff. Yesterday The Husband said something to me about not criticizing him for watching so much TV when I'm always on my tablet and that he didn't see the difference.

I was floored. The difference is I am working on the most important thing I have ever tackled professionally! I was very hurt that it appeared he didn't see how important and time consuming this is. It is not like when I did my master's. Yeah that was time consuming too but nothing like this. It was much more cut and dry. National Board is anything but cut and dry. It is not for cookie cutter teachers. After stewing about it last night and just being really upset, something occurred to me. The Husband doesn't understand because he has nothing in his life he is truly passionate about. He has a job. I have a career. He just goes to work, makes a crap-ton more money than I ever will, and leaves the job at the job. I go to work, shape lives, change hearts, make a difference, change their thinking, change my own thinking, reframe how I previously saw something, worry about kids whose parents are clearly neglectful, worry about kids who are in 2nd grade and still reading at a pre-primer level. My passion fuels what I do. No, I am not the most creative teacher out there. I don't have time (or desire) to make tons of things to share on the blog and do giveaways. It's just not my style. I'm not knocking people who do that because I LOVE that they share their passion with the blogosphere and I have met some amazing people because of those things. I just don't have the desire to do them myself. It's not where I put my focus.

It kind of put me into a negative frame of mind. Not how I want to be starting a new year at all! I mentioned on FB that National Board just might kick my butt after all and a friend and former colleague said if ANYONE could kick National Board's butt, it would be me. Then my former therapist (whom I recently friended since it does not violate any client-counselor privileges since I haven't been to her office in over 6 months) said I just needed to take a breath and think about it. And she's right of course. I can't let little snags like a technology snafu make me feel like this whole process is too much and that I can't. Because I can. And I WILL.

When all was said and done, I picked myself up, pulled up my big girl pants and got on with it. There is no time for dwelling. The Husband is an insensitive doorknob sometimes but again, he doesn't understand why this is SO important. It is well beyond the stipend that I will get for passing and well beyond the grant money I unexpectedly received to pursue it. I have just felt compelled to do this for many years and the time was finally right. Even when I just want to sit and cry from the sheer volume of work to be done, I shall go on. I shall persevere and make it. I won't quit or give up.

Today I made my DVDs. Might not seem like that big of a deal but I finally made a decision on the video I am going to use for Entry 2. I actually had 3 to choose from and could not really decide which was best. I finally made the choice yesterday and put that DVD together and burned two copies today. Then I went ahead and put together my Entry 3 DVD and burned two copies of that as well. (One for me as a backup and one to send in.) You know I am tired when I put the labels on the DVD cases and realized Entry 3's label is on the BACK of the case. Oops. Oh well. They will have to deal with it I guess!

I need to make myself a plan. When and how I am going to work on the rest of my entries. Specific times I mean. My goal is to have a rough draft of Entry 2 by this weekend (although I don't know if I am going to make it) and a rough draft of Entry 3 by the end of the month. I need to set aside a time each day to work on them. I am going to have to think hard about that so I don't get overwhelmed, don't feel like I am neglecting my job or my family but can still get this work in and make it the best I can make it.