Reworking

In some ways, after a whole  year of focusing upon National Board, it's weird to put my focus there again. Although, admittedly, it is so different this time around. I already know the process. I know my timeline. I know my standards. What I need to do is focus upon what I missed the last time and push myself to make sure I demonstrate that evidence this time.

It's just weird. Everyone totally expected me to pass/certify this time. I am the one that it affects yet I seem to be the only one who isn't mad about it. It's what it is. I guess after the year I had last (school) year, and knowing where I will end up, eventually, it seems like small beans in the long run. It isn't going to cost me my job or make me a worse teacher without those extra few letters behind my name.

I have already begun to collect some work samples. Granted, I am MUCH more content teaching the upper grades. I feel better there and more in my element. I'm glad that I have the chance to redo this one with kids at an age I'm more comfortable with. I selected several writing samples from a weekly written response test we have to do. I'm not focused on the content of their answer but rather their method, the writing itself. Some of my students are phenomenal at writing constructed responses and some still provide short, choppy answers that aren't what I expect them to be able to produce, especially after several months together in the classroom.

I am going to use these works as my "before". They won't make it into the entry itself but are going to guide my instruction as we push through this next unit on personal narratives so I can gauge the students' progress from one stage to the next in terms of their writing. After the personal narrative we are doing a unit on compare/contrast writing so the personal narrative and CC samples may well be what ends up going in the entry. 

I'm taking an entirely different approach to this entry this time around. My thinking has changed by reflecting upon what I did before and what I think I need to do now. I'm excited to see where this entry takes me this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for so much this year. A big one is the opportunity to show my true teaching bad-self with a retake on E1. I have refused, since I got my results, to look at this as a disappointment or woe-is-me. I'm making it a positive. I AM grateful that I do have the chance to retake it and make it the best it can be so I can shout in triumph a year from now that I am National Board Certified. 

It's a PROCESS people....

I understand why people who don't certify in their first year of pursuing National Board often just don't tell people. I swear, if one more person tells me it is "ridiculous" or "unfair" that I didn't "pass" (make that certify folks!), I will scream.

I said this over the weekend too but anyone who hasn't gone through the process just doesn't understand. It isn't a pass/fail situation. It also doesn't mean that I am a good or not good teacher. It means one thing. I did not provide enough evidence. Period. That is it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Truthfully, it doesn't really bother me. Sure, it's disappointing because you KILL yourself on it. You do. By the time you mail that box you think if you ever see it again, you are going to stab yourself in the eye! *wink* However, once mid-summer hit, I missed the process. The reflection. The growth. The need to keep pushing and pushing myself to go, go, go. Do this thing just a little better, put this much more into that assignment.

National Board changed the way I teach. No matter what, I am 100% a better teacher than I ever have been. I could go on about how my students and their parents all think so and tell me so...but it isn't about that either. I just do what I love. I try my best every day and strive to be better every day too. It's what I want my students to do, it's what I should practice as well.

The Results are In....

Today is the day that all CIWs have been waiting for. It is the day we find out if our blue boxes full of 9 months of blood, sweat and tears ended up providing us with a "Congratulations, You are a National Board Certified Teacher!" or not.

Unfortunately, when I logged into My Profile this morning at 6:30 a.m. (I couldn't sleep for a totally different reason), I did not see those fabulous words. I missed certifying by 6 points. (Remember that each entry is worth up to 4.25 points (an A+) and then is weighted by 16, 12 or 6.67 depending upon the entry/exercise.) What really stinks is, upon further investigation, I only need 0.375 of a point on one entry to certify and reach that magic number of 275. 

The closer we have gotten to the deadline, I have been telling myself I didn't make it. Not to be a downer and not to be a Negative Nancy but to prepare myself just in case. I had a really crappy spring when I was finishing my last two entries (the two I didn't reach the 2.75 on which is the minimum "pass" on each entry/exercise). When I checked my National Board files on my computer, I noted that the two I didn't pass were the last two I completed and I finished them the day I sent in my box. I sent my box in two weeks early because I was overwhelmed with my personal BS and needed to get National Board out of my hair. 

I took three weeks off (until Spring Break) and then busted my behind studying for the Assessment Center. Happily, I did really awesome there, only exercise 5 was below the benchmark (and that one stumped a lot of us for MONTHS as we practiced and practiced). 

I have been sick all day (not because of my results, it's just icky timing) and have slept through much of the day. I have thought about what to do in the small amount of time I have been awake and coherent. I AM going to retake Portfolio One and ONLY Portfolio One. I did horrible on Entry 3 but I feel so UNconfident in my ability to redo that one and bring my score back up. So I will do the other one. I only need that 0.375th of a point so if I put all of my energy into that one entry, I should be just fine. 

I know the process so much better, I know what to expect now. It won't be as time consuming, as difficult and/or as stressful because it's ONE entry rather than TEN like last year. Plus the drama is my life is relatively non-existent now since I parted ways with people who just don't deserve to say they know me. I will make it in Round Two, I have no doubt of that.

It is a journey after all. My plan of attack is to review Entry 2 (my highest score) and see what I did in there that I didn't do in Entry 1 and go from there. I am working with big kids again, where I feel SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE, and thus hopefully I can kick this entry in the behind this time around. 

So don't feel sad for me. I don't. Yeah, it stinks to work so hard and have to redo something but it is what it is. I will make it. I'm not the sort of person who just gives up. :) I have been a survivor my entire life and this is just a bump in my road. It's a tiny bump...it means nothing in the long run. I will be positive, I will persevere and a year from now I will open My Profile and see the words I want to see.

The End is (almost) here!

I got an email Friday afternoon letting me know that scores will be released on Saturday, November 17. We on the ecgen.org forums have speculated whether it would be that day (historically it is the Saturday before Thanksgiving). I am beyond nervous about it.

Some of my colleagues (and my mother), bless their hearts, say "Oh you passed FOR SURE". But if you haven't been through the process, you just don't know what its like. The way you have to write, the way you have to analyze, reanalyze and scrutinize everything is so nerve-wrecking. There is no sure-fire way to know that your  best effort met the rigorous standards of National Board.

Over the past few days, as I have been busy totally having a social life and having fun for a change, I have let myself think that perhaps I haven't certified yet. We had a great discussion on ecgen about that wording also--it isn't pass/fail, it is certified/not certified yet. When my mom told me to "have faith in myself" and I "surely passed", I felt bad about the possibility of NOT passing. I mentioned this on the forum and one of the ladies mentioned that pass/fail is so negative. Yes, it is!! So we all agreed to say certified or not certified yet.

I knew going into this process that I was in it for the long haul, three years if it takes me that long. I hope it doesn't because I'm not looking forward to the notion that I might have to videotape and do other things over again. Then again, I may be worried for nothing. Everyone I know who is in my shoes, who are waiting with baited breath for Saturday, gets it. We know it isn't so easy as to say "wow but you're a great teacher" or whatever. That doesn't matter. It matters how you presented your evidence that you are an accomplished teacher.

I know that I may well bite my nails down to the quick by Saturday and I may need to keep a barf bag handy when I log into My Profile Saturday and check to see where I stand (I may need that bag either way--I may vomit in despair or pure joy!). No matter what, however, I have promised myself that I am not going to be upset with myself if I didn't certify yet. I will take it on the chin, look at their advice and see what I need to do.

Part of me would love to be super confident and say "yeah, I got this" but it's just too difficult of a process to be so sure of yourself with. I can't wait to find out...yet I also don't want to know yet. A whole year of hard work could be coming to an amazing conclusion or back to a drawing board.

At least I have conferences to distract me this week!

Let the Countdown Begin!

Typically, in years past, scores for National Board are released right around Thanksgiving. Usually the week before. If that holds true this year, that means in just about a month, I will either have the best day of my life or the day that signifies I have some more growth to make. 

I was chatting with a colleague not to long ago and she said to me, "Oh you'll pass. You are SO smart." 

But some days, I do worry about what I'll do if I didn't make it. Was my writing good enough? Did I cover every single aspect of the prompts in the assessment center? Did I...? Did I....? Did I....?

It's so easy to second guess and question yourself. Most of the spring and summer, after taking my test, I put it out of my head. The relief in being done was tremendous. Most of this fall, it hasn't bothered me too much. Yes, I think about it now and again but I'm so busy trying to keep my head above water at school that I don't often have time to think about it. 

Someone on the ecgen.org forum (which I would TOTALLY JOIN if I were you and you're a new candidate in Early Childhood Generalist, Middle Childhood Generalist or Early/Middle Childhood Literacy--best $40 you'll ever spend!), said that when they were a CIW (Candidate in Waiting) they went into the new school year, before score release, and prepped to start all over, just in case they didn't make it. In other words, they did the permission slips, prepared to videotape and do all of these things over again. I thought that was kind of crazy. I mean, more power to her, but no thank you. I am not going to stress myself out over it until I KNOW I have to redo something. 

The confident side of me thinks there is just no way that I WON'T pass. I killed myself on those portfolios, analyzing, overanalyzing, reanalyzing. There is just no way that I didn't get a minimum 2.75 on each one. That's what I tell myself anyway. The assessment center exercises aren't worth as much (40% overall compared to 60% for the portfolios)...but I went to a ton of chats and really felt like I nailed those questions. I answered them just the way we practiced. I felt good. Confident.

The pessimistic side of me doesn't want to get that score release and see that I failed to make it this time. Because with as crazy as my school life is right now, I don't know HOW I could possibly do National Board again, even if it was just for an entry. I pray that if I didn't make it for some reason that the only things I need to redo would be AC exercises because they aren't classroom based and pretty much zero stress involved. 

The confident side wins most of the time fortunately. I have run so many scoring "scenarios" through based on feedback I got from readers of my portfolio and the chats I attended at ecgen.org that I will probably be shocked if I don't pass. I'm not a perfectionist in much but in stuff like this, I totally am. I would never submit something that didn't have my 150% best effort put into it. My name is out there, you know? 

The good news is, the way the process is scored, they add a 12 point uniform constant to every score. So if you DO receive a 2.75 minimum on everything (basically a B-), you will pass because your raw score would be 275 and the uniform constant will increase you to 287 points. The minimum passing is 275.

I think this is a good way to do it so that if you are someone like me...who has ZERO experience working with super young students (K-1 age), you have some leeway to do much better on another area to bump up your score. I know I only feel good about the Emergent Literacy AC exercise because I practiced with a kindergarten teacher for 3 months!! The other exercises were much more in my comfort zone so I'm not as worried about those. 

I'm sure that much of this will slip my mind over the next few weeks as we have more going on at school with conferences and the busy month of November. Once I get that coveted email telling me when scores will be available...my heart will likely lodge in my throat until I know I passed or need to reassess and decide my next step.

The Mid-Summer Waiting Game

When you spend an entire year focusing on something, it's weird when you no longer have it. I have felt this way on and off since walking out of the Assessment Center on May 14, having finished my National Board exams. For a little while, there was euphoria: whew, I'm finally done. Not long after, however, you sort of feel a sense of loss because this is something that overtook your life for such a long time (a school-year is a long time).

I find myself as we are approaching Back-to-School reflecting upon all of the things I learned last year. Even if I don't certify this year, I won't give up. I will step back into the ring and try again. It's kind of what I do. But in all seriousness, I am approaching ALL aspects of my curriculum planning differently. How can I truly maximize every moment I have with my students? How can I fit in just one more thing to help my students make progress?

Those are the thoughts floating through my head this August. It's this time of year I often get what I have dubbed "August insomnia" because I have so many ideas and things I want to do that I can't sleep. It hasn't happened yet but I'm sure it will. I have so many things I want to do for my classroom this year: not just for looks, but for productivity. I want to give my students the absolute BEST year they can have. Focus, determination and the growth I made going through National Board has invigorated me in ways I never thought would be possible for me. Teaching is my passion--it's who I am and what I do. 

But this is powerful. A year of hard work, scrutinizing, analyzing, freaking out and going back to the drawing board have me reflecting on what I've done in the past and what I will do in the future. It is a really awesome feeling to know that no matter if I see a "Congratulations" on my screen in November or not that I have grown. I have changed. I have made a difference for myself and for my future students simply by embarking upon the process.

That knowledge, reflection and power are priceless.

And waiting....

It is hard to believe it has only been six weeks since I took my NB test. So much has happened since that day (some good, a lot not good).

I kind of miss the National Board process. Maybe that makes me crazy. Or just a little odd. Or both!

I was talking to some folks on the ecgen site and I think I might try my hand at writing a book about the EMC Literacy certificate. There are "general" books out there and books geared for the EC-Gen certificate (and some are really good!), but I know I was hungry for something a bit more specific to my situation. When I asked around there, they all told me it was an amazing idea.

Maybe they are just crazy like me!!

Tentatively I would call it "The Art of Accomplished Teaching". I have totally been bitten by the writing bug since finishing my book and I think this would be a great project to work on, even if I didn't really make a lot of money with it.

Oh yeah...VICTORY!

Well. It's over. Done. Finito!

I got my life back as of 10:03 this morning. It took me just over 2 hours to take my test. I did not go the full 30 minutes for each exercise. I know me. I would overanalyze, think too much and mess up. So I went with my gut on each one, double checked my responses to make sure I had all of my criteria met and on to the next.

I thought I was going to pass out between exercise 2 and 3. I did not sleep well at all last night. I think I got about 4 hours of sleep and it was broken. I just couldn't relax. So I got up with a sore throat, a headache and hardly any sleep. Not exactly ideal conditions to take the biggest test of your life! But I powered on and I think I did okay. At the worst maybe a 2 on any of them but really I think I did alright. I'm so glad we practiced exercise 3 (Emergent Literacy) and exercise 5 (Visual Text) so much because I think I kicked some behind on those two. Here's hoping I'm right!! The AC chats were the very best thing I ever participated in, seriously. I would have been LOST without those.

You have to shut off EVERYTHING when you get there and are only allowed to have your ID and your locker key in the room. When I left, feeling tremendous relief and disbelief that it was finally over, I had two voicemails from school. One saying they needed me to come in because no one took the job. Um, not happening. The 2nd one said "oh we figured out what all of those letters mean and realize you can't come in, nevermind". I wouldn't have anyway! Not my issue that a sub cancelled last minute. And it's  not like you can just go "oh nevermind National Board, I'll put you off another day or week". Um, no.

SO glad to be done with this. I want my life back. It's been amazing, frustrating, invigorating, thought provoking and tiring all at once. I know that once school resumes for fall I will be much better off having done this -- because everything I learned will come with me. Everything I'm too tired to process right now will come back to me and I will be a better teacher because of it. But for now....it is rest. Rest and wait. Wait a loooooong time for score results. Honestly after today I'm sure I won't think about it much before October. I'm so ready to just have it behind me.

The End

Well, here we are.

In less than 12 hours now,  I will be at the Assessment Center, on the final leg of my National Board journey. From therein, it will be a waiting game. A big sigh of relief when it's over and putting it out of my mind so I can go back to a normal life: reading, writing, working on my books, getting my publishing house going, spending time with my hubby and kids, watching TV (which I rarely ever do) and not thinking about NB.

Come the fall when things are busy, it will continue to be pushed to the back of my mind. My frame of reference will be filled with starting the new school year, working out the kinks of the new system we're using for Reading Street and focusing on myself.

Then The Email will come. The email that announces that scores will be released soon. And anxiety will set in. Will my hard work have paid off? Will I become a National Board Certified Teacher or an Advanced Candidate?

I can prep no more. I either know it...or I don't. I'm not worried about whether or not I know it. I'm worried about remembering it when I'm sitting in that room, nervous that I will come off like a complete bonehead in my exercises. That some assessor somewhere will laugh at my entries and wonder who the heck I thought I was even attempting this.

Although when I did my very last practice chat on Thursday, the gal I've bonded with who has been with me every week for these chats said she thought I was one of the smartest people on the forum and would be crossing her fingers for me. That's super nice and super awesome. This is someone I don't even really know who thinks I am smart and will make it. I sure hope I do. I want this to pay off -- not in two or three tries, but in one. I want the pain, suffering and literal anguish I have been through this year -- not at the hands of NB but trying to push through the process and deal with it -- to pay off and be able to proclaim that I did, indeed, make it in one try. That I am worthy of the initials NBCT behind my name. 

Getting closer...

In one week, I will be freaking out. FREAKING.OUT.

Why? Because on Monday, May 14, I will be taking THE TEST. Not any ole test. The biggest test of my life. Really for five of the exercises, I feel confident. I have done well in our practice sessions. Whenever I have practiced on my own, I have always had extra time. That makes me feel better because everyone says those 30 minutes FLY in the Assessment Center. In all of my practices I have had at least 10 minutes when I've finished my responses to go back, make sure I haven't missed anything and make anything more clear if needed. I'm SO glad I've had the foresight to do those practices, and engage in all of the extra chats, because it sure has helped.

I am worried about Exercise 3 -- the Emergent Literacy one. I fear that I will choke when I'm in the AC. I have never taught K-1 (and never plan to). My certificate will span ages 3-12 bu I plan to stay in the late 6 year old and up ages (I had a few kiddos who were still 6 when school started this year). I will practice, practice, practice that one over the next week. 

Then it's test time...and freedom. No more weekends devoted to NB. No more scheduling my life around the AC chats we've been doing. No more worrying about how I will get everything done. Freedom to enjoy my last weeks of the school year and not have this hanging over me.

It's soooo close I can nearly taste it.

Assessment Center

After mulling through the thousands of emails I seem to get every day, I noticed that I had scheduled my assessment center on the day that happens to be Field Day. With any other group, I would have left it. With this one?  Nope. So I went to the site and looked to see what else is free....not willing to make it on a day when I would miss a prep period.

So Monday, May 14 it is. Kind of scary because it's coming up FAST. But...the last chat for the EMC Literacy group is May 13. Plus a few of us have been doing our own chats. The one I am most worried about is the emergent literacy since I have never taught K-1 and never plan to either. Fortunately one of my new pals in my certificate area IS a K-1 teacher and is steering me in the right direction on that one. So hopefully, I will be okay.

I'm not too worried about the change of day. It's a Monday rather than a Wednesday but I won't miss any specials, my kids aren't taking any tests, etc. If I really kick myself in the behind in the next couple of weeks, I will be okay. I really am not too worried. I have kicked some ass (if I do say so myself) in my practice work for the AC so I'm feeling MUCH better than I was at the onset of this part of the process.

In truth, I will be beyond happy to get that assessment over with and get on with the rest of my life. I have learned a TON in this process and I am so glad I have done it...but I also am looking forward to relaxing. Thinking about closing out the year, looking ahead to next year and NOT thinking about the test or practicing for the test. I will hang on until the end of May to help my fellow candidates but once May is over...I'm SO done until November when I get to panic about score release!

Support

I've made it no secret that when I make National Board certified status, I will be the only one in my district. Therefore I have no mentor or coaches or support groups.

I have my yahoo group and ecgen.org and that's it.

I am finding that I am good at thinking through the prompts and applying them to the stimulus. The issue will be when you only have 30 minutes to read and respond. The prompt doesn't change, just the stimulus, but that means you need to know 6 prompts like the back of your hand going in. No easy task.

I missed the first yahoo chat for exercise one but made it for exercise two. A fellow lit candidate wanted some practice with exercise 5 so we met tonight and it was just us but we got it done. Great thinking and we started sharing a brain after a bit. Good problem to have! We encouraged each other to back it up and find proof.

If we're honest I'm enough of a bossy pants that I kind of like leading the chat...pushing the thinking of myself and others. It's also helpful. Now the trick will be to be able to do all of the steps of the prompt in under 30 minutes!

First Chat!

I attended my first Yahoo! Chat today. I missed last week's because it was Monday night and I had too much to do that first day back.

I'm glad I made this one. It was for Exercise 2. I feel SUPER good about this exercise since I am an ELL teacher. Lots of folks were impressed with my responses. Yay me! Hopefully that serves me well in the actual AC! I am going to keep practicing so I get the time frame underway -- that will be the hardest part: answering everything in only 30 minutes AND backing it up.

The moderator of the Yahoo group said it was awesome that I used words from the stimulus and I said "isn't that what we're supposed to do?!" and he said "only if you want to pass" :)

I ALWAYS tell my students to show proof. It's how you prove you know what you're talking about. I can't wait to tell them that it's true even when you are my age!!!

AC Exercises 1 & 2

Despite my grand plan to work on Exercise 1 for the AC test this week, with going back to work and everything that goes along with being a mom of 3 and a wife, it never happened. I at least got some prep materials printed out but that was it. Oops.

So this weekend I am focusing on Exercise 1 and then hopefully this week I can work on Exercise 2. 

Exercise 1 focuses on Reading Comprehension. Since the Literacy certificate spans early and middle childhood children from age 3 to 12, the questions can (and should) cover a huge range of possibilities in terms of the age and grade level. Exercise 1 presents a scenario and teacher-student dialogue. The level 4 rubric consists of 4 questions:

1. Provide one STRENGTH and one WEAKNESS in the student's comprehension (based on the sample answers provided in the dialogue)

2. Cite specific examples from the student's response in support of the STRENGTH and WEAKNESS

3. Provide one developmentally appropriate teaching strategy to support the student's comprehension (based upon your response in steps 1-2)

4. Rationalize your teaching strategy with research or theory

Personally I think the last one will be the hardest because I do not have tons of research/theory memorized. However, if you assume that each of those questions is worth a point, as long as you do well on questions 1-3, you would earn a passing score on this exercise. 

I am practicing with several sample prompts that I found on the Yahoo! group for the Early/Middle Childhood Literacy certificate. Additionally, a fabulous NBCT Patrick has a site where you can practice the prompts as well. I especially love that he has a blank template so you can practice more than one prompt if it is available. BONUS. And it includes a timer -- essential for helping ensure that you can fully answer the entire prompt in the 30 minutes you get.

Exercise 2 focuses on Oral Language Acquisition Skills for Learners of English as a New Language. Considering that my master's degree is in ESL, I am the least worried about this one. I will still review the documents available of course and practice answering some prompts but I feel good about my knowledge of ESL so hopefully that will serve me well. In this exercise, you read a transcript an then provide evidence of the following:

1. An accurate identification of one STRENGTH and two WEAKNESSES in the student's oral language development

2. tightly connect examples of the strength and weaknesses from the transcript

3. Provide an in-depth description of two developmentally appropriate teaching strategies, other than teacher correction, connected to the identified strength or weakness in the language development

4. Provide an appropriate rationale for the strategies selected.

I will probably practice both of them throughout this week as I can since I am a little behind in the schedule I set for myself. However, I did provide myself a week of cushion so I will be alright. I'm more nervous about finding the time to practice since this is always a crazy-busy time of year at school as we wind things up and prep the students for the next grade.

It's AC chat time!

It's hard to believe that three weeks ago, I mailed my portfolio to San Antonio! Time flies and all of that.

Now that April has hit and Spring Break is over (excuse me while I shed a few tears here), it's time to turn my focus to the assessment center preparation. There are a lot of great resources out there with samples to help you practice. I feel fortunate that I have that help.

My test date is May 30. That's just over seven weeks away. I will focus on ONE exercise per week for the next six weeks. Learning each rubric. Focusing on the specific content and standards presented in each exercise. Until I can breathe the language of the exercise and answer a sample prompt practically in my sleep.

The last week before my test, I will practice doing more than one exercise at a time with the 30 minute limit per exercise. Of course I can't spend 3 hours per night practicing for the whole thing, but doing two per days in an hour is feasible. I don't know if it is the smartest way to prep but it's what I am going to do.

Stay tuned for updates on the second leg of this journey.

Life after Portfolios

It's kind of unbelievable that I only mailed my portfolio two days ago. Feels like it was WAY longer ago.

After mailing the box, I treated myself to a nail fill and a pedicure. Heavenly. I needed it. Then yesterday morning we drove up to our cabin up north. Even though it is only March, it has felt more like June around here. I'm so glad we went. I am so relaxed when I am there.

It felt very weird to arrive home tonight and realize that I only have to do work for my regular classroom job. I do not have to do anything else. No portfolio writing. No revising. No freaking out.

I have my life back (for now). And it feels weird and awesome all at the same time.

Deep breath.....

I kind of want to throw up.

Because today is THE day. And I'm packing.

It's scary. What ifs are running through my head like crazy. I have spent so much time on this...I'm almost afraid to let it go. Seriously. I kind of want to tuck it in the back of the closet where I can pull it out and look at it.

Alas, it has to go. Two pages left for E3 and I'm totally done. Entry 1 and Entry 2 are signed and sealed. They are in their envelopes, I closed them. (And I want to hurl.) E3 is next. Final copy has to be printed, then inventory and that's signed and sealed as well. E4 is after that. It's done, just have to make sure I didn't forget to put anything in. Everything has an inventory sheet so those have to be completed.

Lastly, the FORMS envelope. It includes all of you checklists and your forms stating that you have been honest, the work is yours and you're signing your life away.

Then the box closes for the last time. And I seal it. And cry a little maybe. And then off to the post office. And cry a little more as I let them take it off my hands.

And pray that it gets there in one piece. I am going to pay for Priority because it has automatic tracking AND it will get there by middle of next week. I can breathe a sigh of relief once I get confirmation that it has arrived in San Antonio.

Then, try to forget about this blue box that has haunted me for the last 6 months. Three weeks of bliss...and then it's on for the AC. 

Oh.My.Lanta.

It's here!

My personal deadline is almost here! Tomorrow is it. I am getting up early with the hubby and kids, shoving them out of the house, making my final changes, printing my final copies and packing that box up. I plan to give myself about 3 hours to pack my box. Sounds dramatic but there is so much paper and so many checklists...and I don't have the luxury of someone helping me pack so it's on me. And I will double, triple and quadruple check each item before I seal any envelopes!

I hope to be mailing my box by noon or so. Then I shall treat myself to getting my nails done and maybe, if I'm feeling really daring, a pedicure.

Then I will come home and start packing for the weekend. We're heading up north to open our cabin. In March (it was 80 yesterday which is unheard of here)! I'm beyond excited. It is so quiet, restful and peaceful there. It will be the perfect way to celebrate sending my beloved box off to San Antonio.

Crunch Time!

So my personal deadline is looming! I'm almost ready. I WILL be ready by the end of the day on Friday the 16th. Even if I am running to the post office at 4:50, I will get that box out of my house on Friday.

I have to finish my video analysis for E3 and then write my reflection, then print it so I can read it, make revisions and cut out "fluff" and then fix it and that's done. I put it aside LONG ago and then procrastinated going back to it. I'm glad I did! Because after all of the chats I've attended at ecgen, all of the information I have read, and all of the "marinating" that entry did in my brain...I went back to it with fresh eyes and I am much happier with it now. It may not be perfect but I feel better about it than I did originally...and I've rewritten almost the entire entry. There was clearly a reason it was bothering me!

Then I have to finish my analysis of the second writing sample for E1 and write that reflection. Print, edit, revise, fix and that's done too. It feels kind of WEIRD to know that this is it. I've worked my butt off, gone through a mini crisis of my own during this process (from something totally unrelated) and I'm still gonna make it. Yesterday on the forums at ecgen, we were chatting about being almost there with this part....and I realized that I don't even care if I don't certify in my first try. I'm certainly not going to go into it expecting NOT to...but if I don't, it isn't the end of the world. I feel very confident about E2 and E4. The other two, because they've taken me the longest, I feel less sure about but I'm not worried.

Once I mail that box...it's relaxation. Well, as much as you can relax when  you've got millions of things happening at school! I'm downloading everything from the EMC Literacy Yahoo! group regarding the assessment center. I'm organizing my own section in my National Board folder for each of the 6 exercises. After Spring Break, I will begin studying for the AC. I will practice, practice, practice each exercise. I will have about 7 weeks to practice. If I practice ONE exercise a week, daily, to get used to the type of prompt it is, practice getting a complete answer written with all of the criteria in 30 minutes and having time to proof it before I move on....I can spend my 7th week practicing them all. So I can get comfortable with 2-90 minute sessions in which to complete the entire AC. (You get a short break between the 3rd and 4th exercise.)

It's on. I will be ready. I worked hard, I am solid in my evidence and I feel confident that I can do this in one try. To prove it to myself but also to all of my naysayers who said I was crazy to do this and how "worthless" it is. I haven't found it worthless. I have found it frustrating, stressful and enlightening. I have learned a lot. Once it's all over on May 30 (the day I take my AC) I will turn my focus to next school year. To how to use everything I've learned about myself as  a teacher and my students in this age group to focus my instruction for 2012-2013. Everything will be okay. If I open my profile in November and see that I didn't certify on my first try, I will reflect, look deep and try again. It won't be the end of the world.

New Goals

I decided that next Friday, March 16, is it for me. I am mailing the damn portfolio box by then, come hell or high water.

I can't do any more than I have done. I never want to see that blue box again. I shall tolerate it for another 10 days and then it is OUT OF MY HOUSE.

This deadline will a) force me to finish up the last of my work on this and b) allow me to BREATHE the last two weeks of March before Spring Break.

Everything I need to finish this is in my head.

I just have to get it on the paper, get the paper in the box and the box out of my house. Period.

No excuses. It's on.

Sluggin' it!

I'm so glad I decided to chronicle my journey in this separately from my other blog. I know I will be looking back at these posts and reflections and understanding, truly, how much I got out of doing this.

Today was going to be my Harry Potter marathan day. And I'll get to some laying on my bum later. I found that I can't sit still that long anymore. I rarely watch TV. I'm so used to GOING all the time that it is hard not to. Being online affords a lazy factor but also a productive one -- so it doesn't feel as lazy. I don't really understand it but I know I can waste days in front of my computer but watching a movie or two straight through is hard for me because I watch so little TV.

At any rate, today I will be finishing up E1. I have said it many times and haven't done it. Well, time is of the essence. I won't go to my marathon before it's finished. I have a ton of things to do tomorrow for school so I really want to get this entry out of my hair. 

Then I can focus Monday-Thursday after school with working on finishing up E3 and hopefully be all set with that one by the weekend. Then it's edits, packing and off it goes!

E1 Progress

I am finally making some headway on E1. I actually had so much fun working on it tonight. Way easier than E3!! I am still up in the air as to whether or not I will retape E3...I am hating the write-up of it that much. 

Anyway I finally picked a kiddo for my E1 which is about writing. I picked my kiddo L who is an AMAZINGLY awesome reader whose writing is just not what you would expect for someone who reads so well. He started the year reading a Guided Reading level P (end of 2nd grade) and writing at an end of kindergarten level. Doesn't exactly align, huh?

I'm finding I have TONS to say about this kiddo. I'm only through the 2nd part of the entry (there are 7) and I've already written 4 whole pages and part of a 5th. They suggest by the end of the 2nd part you have 3 pages. So I may have some fluff-cutting to do! It feels GOOD to have so much to say though since that is not happening with E3 at all (just the opposite).

I have a math training tomorrow so I will be coming home earlier than usual and plan to (hopefully) get in 2-3 solid hours of writing. I would LOVE to finish E1's draft by tomorrow. That would be perfection. Then I can spend Wednesday-Thursday catching up on stuff for my actual job (although NB kind of feels like it should be my full-time job right now!) and then Friday since I have a day off, I plan to spend it all kicking E3 in the ass once and for all.

Let's just hope it all works out that easy!

And the Countdown Begins...

Wow. Unbelievable that there are only 5 weeks left until I pack up this bad boy and send it off to San Antonio!  It feels like I've been working on it forever....and yet I can't believe I only have 5 weeks left. I am still working on Entry 3. I have dragged butt on it so much. It is the one I feel least confident with. Life has gotten in the way, big time, over the last month so I have not done a ton of work on my portfolio. But it's crunch time now. I don't want to send off something that isn't my very best work and thus, I need to work on these entries daily until they are done, have a friend or two read them, and then make my own revisions. My goal is to be all set with my portfolio by March 23. Then I can spend that last week packing my box. I will do one envelope per day Sunday-Thursday. I am going to do them one at a time over the course of that week because there are SO many forms, papers, etc that go with each entry and I don't want to get a bad score because I was missing one paper or something.

I will be very, very, VERY glad when I am mailing that box off and it's out of my hands! April is mine. Allll mine. I am trying really hard to talk The Husband into taking March 30 and April 2 off as a long weekend and go open up our cabin. I have zero issue spending my entire Spring Break there, even if it is snowing. There is no phone, no internet, nothing to district me or bother me. I can SLEEP, relax and just catch my breath. He kind of laughed when I said that but I was so serious about the sleep part. 

Earlier this week one of my colleagues told me that I never should have done National Board this year with switching grade levels. In my mind, it was the smartest time to do it because who knows if Mrs. Principal will move me again. She doesn't consult people about grade placements, she just does it because she's unprofessional. And I know she has been targeting 4th grade like crazy this year so it isn't unlikely that she wouldn't put me there next year to split them up. I don't know. But I think this year, teaching 2nd grade, doing National Board has been the BEST thing I could have done. Yes it is challenging, time consuming and overwhelming, but I have learned so much about myself as a teacher and about making my lessons more developmentally appropriate for my younger students. It wouldn't have been any less of a challenge to have done it while teaching 5th grade that I know so well. This way, being WITH a younger grade, I'm much closer to the lower end of the developmental scale which means if I get a kindergarten writing sample on one of my assessment exercises I'm not going to panic that I don't know what to say about it because I have kids at that level this year.

I've kind of learned that to this particular colleague, if she doesn't see the value in something, it's "worthless". Well, to be frank, who asked you?? I sure as hell didn't ask for your opinion. I honestly can't wait for her to eat crow when I DO certify (she did NB years ago and didn't make it so she thinks it's a waste of time, even though she wouldn't redo the one or two parts she needed that likely would have allowed her to pass). I really have a hard time respecting people who think just because something wasn't right for them that it isn't right for anyone else either. I won't send something off that I don't think is my absolute best work. And I have two personal days coming up in March that will be used for the sole purpose of working on National Board so I am not too worried. 

It's only hard because when I'm home I am tired. When I am tired I don't want to work. On anything (NB or otherwise). Once this part of the process is over, it'll be relaxation time until I begin to study for the AC and honestly....I can not imagine those will be harder than the portfolio!

Yay! (E2 feedback)

My super good friend, and former colleague, K agreed to read E2 for me. This is the one where you have to show that you can help children construct meaning through reading. She didn't see the video, just my written commentary and sent me her feedback today. I had sent her the evaluation guide that NB uses because I thought it might be easier for her to gauge what they are looking for. 

She and I have not taught together in 2 1/2 years. She has never been in my current classroom or met my current students. She read the entry over the last week and her feedback is so helpful. She said I seriously NAILED IT in terms of showing knowledge of my students, the field and how to use assessments to guide instruction. She actually wrote her feedback on the evaluation guide which was really helpful to me as well. It helps me see where I can still make some tweaks but overall, I'm thinking this entry is probably going to be good to go by next weekend! Super awesomeness.

I am STILL putting my finishing touches on E4. Bah! It is all written and ready. I need one verification form filled out which I can probably get tomorrow since the gal I am asking to do it taught with me at  Former School and now teaches with me at Current School. How's that for luck? 

I am struggling with wording my reflection. I want to be clear and concise but not repeat myself or sound like I think I am all that. I am actually very good at reflecting -- I do it all the time. But putting those thoughts down on paper is not so easy for me. At least not when the words aren't just for myself. So I'm struggling still with that one a bit. It's next on my To Do list then after I get The Oldest from her church event, I plan on finishing up E3 and handing it over to my next reader. Time is ticking away. There's so much to do to make sure my work is the best I can possibly submit before that March 31 deadline.

Chugging Along

Yesterday was my glorious day off....and I spent a bunch of my morning sleeping. Oops. *wink* Apparently I needed that rest though. I'm not sad about it.

I did get some work done and E4's final draft is just about ready. I have a few things I want to finish up on it today but once I do that, that baby is going in the envelope. After reading and rereading info on ecgen.org and reading WhatWorks! and using Bobbie's "candy corn analogy", I feel confident in what I have.

My friend, K, is supposed to send me feedback for my E2 either today or tomorrow. The Husband is reading E2 also. He already told me one part didn't make sense to him -- "it doesn't flow" were his words -- but when I explained it in non-teacherese, he said "oh, I get it". Since it WILL be teachers reading it, I'm not too worried about them not understanding that part.

The Oldest said she would read E3 for me and I am sending it along to a friend as well to give me some extra feedback. I am not going to have a reader for E4 because as I said, I have read up SO much about this one and really changed so much of my original entry that I think I will be okay with it. 

I still haven't even started E1 (oops!) but I'm not panicking. If I can get E3 and E4 finished today, which shouldn't be a problem, then I can start focusing on E1 this week since I'm relatively appointment free, which never happens. I'm feeling really good about where I am right now, despite life getting in the way and not always allowing me to work on NB. Plus ecgen has been down for about 2 days with some internal server error and that's frustrating because I need my check-in fix. Amazing how you come to rely on that support.

I am ready for this part of the process to be over. I'm tired of worrying about my writing, wondering why I have to write in such a way that drives me crazy, worrying over length, did I include enough evidence, am I answering all of the prompts, am I making sense, etc. We have to mail our portfolio box by March 31. I have the 30th off as the start of our Spring Break (great timing!). I plan to pack up my box that week and have it all ready to go by the 30th and take it to the post office that morning and send it priority with confirmation so I can breathe a sigh of relief when I see it has actually arrived. If I'm really slick, I may even mail it the week before if I get as far as I would like to on my entries today and this week.

If I mail it early (the 23rd or 24th), I will have about 5 weeks that I can just relax and not think about National Board. If I mail it on the 30th or 31st (which is the deadline), I will have about 4 weeks to relax.  Once May hits, it's all about prepping for the assessment center. To me, if you know your content, that won't be the hard part. What will be hard is reading the prompt and the sample, providing a solid, clear response and proofreading and checking it all in 30 minutes because that's all the time you get for each prompt. Fortunately there are some great resources out there to help you prep for the AC so I'm not too worried about that part. I am going to take some time off to just relax and be myself (and enjoy my spring break!) before I worry about the AC end of it all.

I am taking my AC test on May 30 which is a Wednesday. I am super lucky that my school district allows me to take up to 2 days for the AC without taking it out of my personal time. I went as late as I dared to go even though I have until June 15. I wanted to get it done while I was still in school so that once school is done, so am I. Our last day is June 8 so once that hits, I'm home free. I won't have to think about National Board again until November when score release time is getting ready to come up. 

I think I am definitely going to go spend a couple weeks at my cabin when school is over....to be away from technology and anything school-related. Just to relax, chill at the lake and not think about anything at all.

Making some progress

I feel like the biggest slacker in the world. I haven't really worked hardly at all on National Board in almost two weeks. That is very, very bad. Again, I am not behind or anything, but I also don't want to wait until the last second to finish things up. I did do some NB work this week, just not as much as I would have liked. I cave at the thought of downtime and then don't get much accomplished. It's a bummer actually.

I sent my draft of E2 to my friend, K, who used to teach with me at Former School. She emailed me today and said that she would have her feedback to me by the weekend. Then she asked if I wanted feedback on grammar/style or just the content/criteria (I sent her a copy of the rubric and eval guide). I emailed back and said don't judge the grammar because the writing is sadly supposed to suck! It is all about the evidence and for someone like myself who loves to write...it is hard to keep it to a minimum and leave out "the fluff" as they call it. I'm interested in her thoughts. 

I am off tomorrow for a personal day and I plan to use the entire day to work on NB. We have no kiddos Monday at school (bonus!) so that will be extra nice too. I plan to spend tomorrow on NB, Saturday being LAZY with my family and Sunday finishing up the little bit of grading I brought home. Two hours max and that's set. My goal is to finish E3 & finish my revisions of E4 tomorrow and get at least half of E1 written up. I really, really want to have drafts of all entries by Leap Day. Then I can pour over my own entries to cut fluff, pack a punch with my wording and get this thing out of my hair! 

I think I am going to have a "I mailed my NB box" party on March 30th!

NB, what NB?

What's that old saying about the best laid plans???

Today my plan to spend most of my day on NB was derailed BIG TIME by a flat tire and errands that took about 2 hours longer than planned due to said flat tire. 

I now have a tremendous headache and feel like I am never going to finish my goals of getting caught up and ready to move on. I am rewriting E4 today because I have an epiphany in my sleep (funny how that happens huh?) regarding the "Candy Corn" analogy that I learned about through this process. I'm only doing 3 accomplishments because they are big ones. At least I think they are big ones. Rewriting them with fresh eyes is helpful. E4 is the only entry where I feel like I can write like a real writer. The other ones are SO not "real" writing and that's annoying. 

I have so much to do tonight and it's nearly 6 already. I just know I am not going to get it all done today :( I have so much I want/need to do and there just aren't enough hours!

Crunch time!

In seven mere weeks, the portfolios must be sent off to National Board. Scary!!!

I have 3 personal days coming up that I am going to use to take total advantage of working on my entries and the little stuff before that deadline. So hard to believe that it is coming up soooo quickly!

Due to conferences this week I have not touched National Board anything all week. Bummer. BUT all is not lost because I did not bring anything home from work, even though I probably should have, so I could focus on National Board this weekend. I finally have the last data I was waiting for so I should be able to finish my write up of E4 and I plan to finish E3 by tomorrow. 

I need to get them into the hands of my readers by tomorrow night so I can get some feedback from others who aren't teachers and make sure I answered all of the prompts. I am making The Husband and The Oldest read the entries too. I'm sure they will just love that! But they already promised so they can't back out now. Besides, to my mind, reading is the easy part!! I have to do the hard stuff *wink*

I actually have one former teacher who will be reading for me. I am going to send her E4 because it is all about the student impact and I think it will be much clearer to HER if I have shown that because she has taught before (she's currently staying home with her toddler). My other readers will be able to see if I have answered the questions in my other entries because I left all of the prompt questions in the write up (in red) until I do my final revisions and then I will take all of that out.

It is amazing how I don't feel stressed out right now. I think I have solid evidence for everything I have done and I know I have grown as a teacher. Kelly, who runs ecgen.org, said once that most people practically ace their assessment center after the focus chats they do on the site from April-June. I'm excited for that because you only get 30 minutes to answer the prompt and that can be tough! There is so much information on that site. Initially I was afraid it was not going to be much help since it primarily focuses on the early childhood generalist but I can't say enough how that $35 has been the best money I have spent on this journey. Everyone is helpful and willing to help you to see where you are following the right path or getting sidetracked. It's the best cohort I could have asked for.

Entry 3 Irritation

So before it was E2 and now it is E3 that is driving me crazy!!

The wording of goals vs. objectives, making sure you include enough description to paint the picture without wasting space, ensuring you have concrete evidence from the video. It is enough to give you gray hair! And I don't have any right now, nor do I want any!!!



I am happy with my video so that's good. It is the written part that is sooooo annoying. I chuckle because in the nightly chats, people are obsessing about their videos. HA! I did my videos well before the holidays on purpose. I knew that would allow me time to obsess over the written commentary instead. And obsess I am! Sheesh!


I have conferences this week so work time is a tad limited but I am planning to leave tomorrow right away since I have a doctor appointment. I don't plan to bring work home and would LOVE to get 2-3 hours of work on National Board tomorrow. It may not happen but it sure would be awesome!

Playing Catchup!

I had a super crazy week this week! I did not work on National Board AT ALL. This is problematic in that we're on the downswing to the deadline. 

Looking on the bright side, however, I am 99% sure my E2 will need minimal revisions so that's good. E3 is half done, E4 is 95% done and I am starting E1. So I'm not behind. If I can bust behind and get all of the preliminary entries done by the end of this month, I will be in a very, very good position. I will have 4 entire weeks to revise, review and make changes to my entries. I am hopeful to have E2 and E4 sent to readers by the end of next weekend for some feedback. I would LOVE to get E3 finished up this week as a draft but we have conferences so I'm not sure how that is going to work. I will try though.

My mom is taking the kids tomorrow for awhile and The Husband has to work so I will have some quiet time in which to get some school things done and work on National Board. I am hopeful for about 4-5 hours of alone time. I may well spend my Saturday night working on National Board (such a party animal, no?) and then spend my time tomorrow on stuff for work since I am behind there too. We shall see. 

I have a personal day coming up soon so that will be a huge help too. I will have 7 hours all to myself to just work. It will be a super big help!

The Process affects the Product

I don't think The Husband understands how much TIME one takes to do something as huge as National Board. He makes comments about how I'm always on the computer, blah blah. This morning I informed him that my entire life from now until March 30 when I mail my box is going to be National Board. I warned him when I started this process.

I am working hard on E3 this weekend. Well, today. I gave myself permission to take tomorrow completely off. No school work. No computer. No cell phone (ie where the internet is). No nothing school or National Board related. So today it is. I have an ecgen.org chat in about 2 hours. I am digging the chats because they are UBER helpful. It's always good to hear other people's thoughts and ideas for their entries. I was in chat last night with one other gal who is an ecgen candidate. We were just chatting about everything and nothing and talked a bit about E4. I'm so happy that I was able to help her brainstorm and nail down her ideas for that entry. It just makes you feel good.

I am hopeful to finish my draft of E3 today. Then I will be set with my deadlines still. And I will be thrilled. I haven't touched E2 since I printed it. I plan to finish drafts for all of my entries then ship them off to readers, meanwhile making my own notes, changes and modifications. Once I have feedback from readers, I will take that and my own notes and changes and work on my finals. I REALLY want all of March to work on that aspect of it -- the revision and polishing. If I can get a draft of E3 done today I may ship those two entries off to my readers so I can get them back quicker while I am working on E1 (E4 is pretty much done -- waiting on my latest data to finish it, which the data should be ready by Monday, I hope). 

This process IS overwhelming and frustrating and challenging....but I am finding that I as time goes on and I read more and learn more, I am less overwhelmed and frustrated. I am empowered. I feel like I've made growth in my teaching and my passion for teaching literacy has been recharged for the better. The end product will just be the icing on my cake.

Entry 3 Beginnings

It feels like it should at least be Thursday...and I've only been at work one day this week so far! What a crazy day! Tuesdays are one of my favorite work days because I have a prep right at the end of the day and it is lovely. I am all prepared for tomorrow except for pencil sharpening which won't take long when I get there. I have some marking to do but that shouldn't take too long either as long as I actually DO it instead of procrastinating and/or distracting myself with other tasks.

I'm really proud of myself because I ended up chit chatting with a colleague after school for almost 45 minutes and time got away from me. The Husband and I went paint shopping for The Youngest's room after dinner and I still managed to get myself upstairs and work a bit on Entry 3. 

I believe I have mentioned this before but the best piece of advice I have gotten is to type out all of the prompts in red and then fill in the answers in black as you go so you can ensure you have actually answered all of the prompts. It really does sound crazy but it works well.

I have my instructional context section of Entry 3 finished. This is the entry where you take a content area and demonstrate how you incorporate listening, viewing and speaking into it. I chose to do a social studies lesson for this entry. Our entire 2nd grade curriculum is about communities and it's fun to teach. There are two parts to the video -- one in which you are actively teaching the listening/viewing and one in which the children respond by speaking.

After I wrote my instructional context section, I decided to stop and review (and review, and review!) my video. I like to take notes. It's weird to watch yourself on video and not judge yourself. But I've found after watching the video again and again that you don't notice your hair, clothes or think "wow I need to lose 10 lbs" or whatever. You really begin to pay attention to your craft. What your instructional decisions were and why you did them. I also have noticed after each viewing an example of when I clearly changed focus midstream based on a student answer. This is not bad of course. It's the point -- you reflect and you think about what you did and why but also what you would change if you had the chance.

I take copious amounts of notes and this one even moreso than my notes for Entry 2. 

  

Entry 2 notes 

  Entry 3 notes 

        (only halfway & lots more writing!)

At any rate, even though I am only halfway through with my note-taking but I feel so proud of myself for coming home after a crazy day and a busy night and still working on this. 

I have been participating in the chats at ecgen.org and in the forums and I finally do not feel all alone. I feel like I am finding my way and this is possible. I am MUCH farther along than some of the other people in the forum. I'm super glad I decided to do my videos early. It is one huge load off to know that I only have to focus on the writing.

Support

I have previously mentioned I have no cohort or support groups in person. Everything is online because there are no cohorts in my area and I am the only candidate in my district as far as I know. 

At the end of December, I joined ecgen.org and it has been the best thing I've ever done. Yes it is mostly geared toward the early childhood generalist but I find the more I interact there and the more involved I get with it, the more helpful it is. (Imagine that!)

We had a chat on Entry 3 today and I got some great advice plus met two candidates who have agreed to be "check in" buddies with me. That will be great so we can keep each other on track and keep going with this. Super important especially as time winds down.

I planned my personal days for this year and will be taking them all on Fridays. Two are in March. My kids and hubby will be at school and I will have a day to just WORK. Smartest thing I've ever done. A huge weight has been lifted off of me because I don't feel alone anymore. I can do this. And I will.

Could it be?!

If I had a nickel for every time I said I was going to finish Entry 2....I'd be a millionaire by now! Seriously.

It did not get done this weekend. Nope. It's frustrating because this kind of writing is just NOT the kind of writing I am used to doing. And it makes me want to rip out my hair.

Alas, right now I am PRINTING my draft of Entry 2! It's like a miracle!! 

It's just a draft but it's PRINTING! That feels so huge after how long I feel like I've been struggling with this one. I need to finish my reflection but otherwise the draft is good to go for sending off to readers!!

My poor husband and teenager...they get to be the first poor souls to read through this and try to make sense of it! ha!

Entry 2 -- The Death of me!

I am determined. DE-TER-MINED to finish my Entry 2 first draft TODAY. 

No exceptions. 

Even if I have to be up until midnight to do it!

I have discovered that I am a really, super good procrastinator. Even moreso than I ever thought. This is bad. Very, very bad. I let myself get distracted and then I lament that nothing is done. It's a vicious cycle.

Alas, I WILL conquer this entry TODAY. And if I can really kick myself in the behind, I will also conquer Entry 4 (I just have a few finishing touches).

Then I can send them off to readers and focus on the last two. 

I need chocolate, diet coke and some peace and quiet so I can work!

Entry 2 -- Roughing it

I made myself a personal deadline to have Entry 2 finished by January 8.

It is January 12 and I am working on it. I'm guessing this means I am not going to have entry 3 done by the end of this month either. I am finding it difficult to really get myself going during the week. It's difficult because while this is important to me, I do not want to feel like I am completely neglecting my family obligations either.

The best thing, to me, about National Board, is that it is all about the clear expectations. While some of the portfolio directions feel at times like they may as well be written in Greek, for the most part, they are very, very clear on what they want you to do. I find that is one of the only things keeping me sane right now. I know that when push comes to shove, everything I am required to do is spelled out for me, I just have to do it.

For the EMC Literacy certificate, Entries 1-3 require instructional context information. Since the assessor is not in your classroom with you, you have to "paint a picture". For the literacy certificate at least, all of the instructional contexts will be a bit different because of the scope of the entry. Entry 1 focuses on writing, entry 2 on constructing meaning through reading and entry 3 of the integration of speaking, listening and viewing. In my classroom, for sure, my instructional context changes for each of those things. Yes, the number of children in my class is the same, but how I frame my classroom is not.


I read somewhere (either at  ecgen.org  or in WHAT WORKS!: Successful Strategies in Pursuing National Board Certification) that one of the smartest things to do is write your prompts out in red in your word document and then go through and write your answers (in black). This way you can be sure you answered all of the questions and when you present your entry to a reader -- if you choose to have one -- they will know what they should be looking for. It makes it simple for them to see if you answered the question/prompt or not because it's right there.

Example the red prompt in the text (blurred obviously so as not to violate NB rules).

It sounds kind of funny but it really does help. I have found it especially helpful when I am feeling stuck. The prompts keep pushing you. Sometimes it feels as though you already answered the question but you haven't -- they are all carefully framed to be just a bit different and that gets tricky sometimes as well.

I have been working pretty steadily on Entry 2 today and have found myself making it farther and farther with the prompts to keep pushing me (and not having to ruffle through my instructions to find the next question is really nice!). 

I rewatched my video and made some notes. I made my own form based on one I found in here:

I have probably watched this video 8-9 times now and every time you get a little more out of it. Here's my form:

The columns are blank because I'm just not that far yet!

This entry would be driving me insane if I hadn't read What Works. Seriously the ideas, positive message and encouragement are very helpful. Especially to someone like myself who has no mentor or cohort to bounce ideas off of. 

I will keep chipping away at this entry. I am bound and determined to put this one to bed by Monday night (the 16th). Crossing my fingers I make it, only a week after my original goal!

Videotaping

When I was prepping over the summer to begin National Board, one thing I read several times was to videotape early. This is mostly so you aren't scrambling to get a usable video a couple of weeks before deadline or end up sending off a less than stellar video segment because you didn't have enough time to tape another one and then effectively analyze it.

I found this advice to be invaluable. I set a goal for myself to have both of my videos finished for my entries by the winter break. There were several reasons: first of all, I think the videotaping, for me at least, is the most stressful part. You want to look good but you also want your instruction to look -- and be! -- authentic; second of all, the earlier you videotape, the more time you have if, during your reflection process, you decide that you are not happy with one of the segments and you want to try another lesson instead. 

I had planned to begin videotaping as soon as I felt like our routines were well established. With this group, I really could have done my videos at the end of September and they would have been fine, I'm sure. I am used to working with big kiddos who, when you explain reasons for things to them, for the most part, they get it. They realize the importance and do the best they can. I found that with this group of 2nd graders, the same was true. Not to say there wasn't some messing around and that I got perfect videos the first time through. They are children after all.

However, after the first couple of times when a few children messed around and we had a class meeting about it, they realized how important it was to me so I could be a better teacher for them. I had my videos done before Halloween and things were great. Sadly, The Husband was trying to transfer the videos to a DVD and did not back them up first so they were all lost in mid-November.

Fortunately for him, he's cute so I forgave him (plus I got a nice dinner and my nails done out of it!). I took the camera back to school, explained what happened and we did it again. We were all set by the end of November. I had videos that maybe weren't perfect but were definitely usable for what I need. I got over having "perfection" real quick. Yes, I want to look like the most amazing teacher ever, but I also want my lessons to look like they are real teaching. Like this same lesson would have happened even if a camera wasn't in the room. I also made triple sure that before I ever let my hubby touch that camera that I had THREE copies of my video segments--I have them on the PC and two separate flash drives just in case! 

Finding a good program to use to make the DVDs is equally important. I stumbled upon Wondershare and I really like it. It allowed me to put my segments together and it was really easy to do. It is a program that I think was well worth the money.

Moral of the story: videotape early, videotape often and BACK UP THE VIDEOS before you let anyone else anywhere near them to save yourself a headache!

National Board Test Center & Scheduling

I just scheduled my Assessment Center appointment. Oh boy.

My Authorization to Test has been mailed and you can also download a copy online. I used that to schedule my appointment. I am fortunate that my district allows me up to 2 paid days to go to the Assessment Center without taking that time from my leave bank. I only need one day since the test is continuous.

I scheduled it for May 30. It is the 2nd to last week of school. It will allow me to rest from the end of March after I have sent off my portfolio to the end of April/early May and then I can begin studying for the Assessment Center. I have found a ton of great resources at ecgen.org to prep for the Assessment Center so I feel really good about my decision to take a little time off, rest and relax and then hit the ground running to study and practice for the assessments.

I'm lucky in that the center I am taking my test at is only 4 miles from my school building. So it will be just like going to work that day, except I'll be taking a big ole test. 

We used to only get 3 personal days per year and last year they added a 4th one which was kind of awesome. I am going to be very strategic in planning my personal days this year. I am going to use them to work on National Board. My kids will be at school and thus I can work in relative quiet. Our puppy is used to be home all day now so I can keep him in the kitchen like he's used to and work upstairs in relative quiet and peace (something that is hard to do when the kids are here)! 

I think I am going to schedule 2 personal days for February and at least one for March. I will take a 2nd one in March if I am really feeling crunched for time. Starting next Saturday I am actually going to leave the house for 4-6 hours to work on my entries. If I get out of the house and go somewhere quiet, I know I am going to get a lot more done, a lot faster than if I try to work on them entirely at home with the family around.

I am going to designate Tuesday and Wednesday nights my "National Board" nights. For at least an hour after dinner those nights, through February, I am going to make myself work on my entries. An hour isn't a lot but it's better than not working on it during the week at all. At least two hours during the week and 4-6 on the weekend will give me a solid 6-8 hours of working on them every week through March 2. That's at least 48 hours, not including the personal days I plan to take in which I'll work for at least 4 hours on it as well. That's a lot of time and I need to use it well. No messing around, procrastinating or just not getting it done.

I also need to get The Husband on board and make him understand that this is not a process I can complete in a day. It is going to take time and he is going to have to step up, at least for a little while, so I can work.